


Lost

by Adi_Beau



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2020-04-05 22:04:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19049341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adi_Beau/pseuds/Adi_Beau
Summary: Shortly after his fight with Riku, Sora wakes up in a lab with no idea where he is or what's going on. Or... Is he Ventus? No, he has to be Sora. Yeah, Sora. Anyways, there's a bunch of weird people in cloaks talking about wanting to use him and he doesn't know where his friends are. And what is that little creature with bright yellow eyes? Why is it gazing at him so intently? Whatever it is, it looks like they're travelling together from this point on.AU where Roxas finds Sora as a heartless in Hollow Bastion and many plot things change as a result.





	1. Lost

Cold.

I was cold. Alone. Nothing around me. Nothing but complete and utter darkness.

Oh wait. My eyes are closed.

I open my eyes. I'm in... A lab? I look around. There are large screens everywhere. They all have a lot of big words and strings of numbers on them. There's an outline of a person on one of them. Next to it is the word "Sora" in big letters followed by a lot of smaller words that again, are a little too complicated for me to process.

Sora... It' a name. I try to think more about it but my head starts to hurt, so I stop.

"Where... Am I?" I mutter, looking down at my hands. They're black. And my arms are.... Huge? Oh, wait, no. Those are sleeves.

"Lost?"

I jumped and turned around to see a tall, thin man in a black coat with broad shoulders and blond hair that sorta framed his face. He smirked. It made my stomach turn.

How could anyone possibly have such a wide mouth?

"No need to worry," the man continued. "This is all normal." He took a step towards me. I found myself taking a step back. He frowned. "Afraid? I won't hurt you."

"... Where am I?" I repeated. "Who are you?"

He smiled again. "So demanding... Tell you what." He moved closer to me, placing a hand on my shoulder. It's freezing cold. My shoulders shook a little. "If you can tell me who you are first... I'll answer any and all questions that you have."

I rolled my eyes impatiently, a little annoyed that he was just throwing my question back at me. "That's too easy!"

"Well then?"

"I'm..." I froze. Who... Who was I? Who _am_ I? I don't even know what I look like. My head hurts again. There's so much pressure...

"Harder than you thought? Come on. Just try a little harder, won't you? I need this for my data."

"...." I tried to think. How did I even get here? I was... Fighting someone? Who?

"R-riku!" My eyes widened as things started to come back to me.

"Close... But wrong."

I shook my head. "N-no, I mean... Riku!" I looked around frantically. "Where is he?! Is he okay?! What about Kairi?!"

"....." He sighed, clearly tired as if _I_ was the one wasting _his_ time. "The princess is safe."

I felt a wave of relief wash over me for a moment before I asked, "What about Riku?"

He shrugged casually. "Who knows? You were the last one to see him and you... Defeated him in battle. Perhaps he's dead?" He tilted his head to the side. "I haven't been told about that yet, so he just might be...."

I felt a cold chill run down my spine. "W-what?"

"Assuming my predictions are correct, you killed him."

"I-i... I what?!" I shook my head. There's no way that was true, right?!

He let out another sigh. "I know... If you were a being capable of feeling, I imagine this would be very painful for you. And yet..."

"And yet what?"

He shrugged again, only now pulling his hand away. "Well? How do you _feel?"_

"I..." I looked down. I was sad, right? Maybe even a little upset? My best friend was gone. The boy I loved was... Gone. And yet...

"Not even a single tear, right?"

"I..."

"It's more of an empty feeling, isn't it?"

"... It is."

He nodded. "Again, normal. Now can you answer my question?"

I looked up at him, having forgotten there was even a question to begin with.

"Who are you?"

"I'm..." I frowned as I tried to recall a name, any name, that I might have answered to in the past. "... Ven...tus?"

"Oh dear..." He shook his head with another sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Try again, will you?"

"I'm..." I looked around, seeing the screen with the outline once again. Sora. The name felt foreign. Like it didn't belong to me. And at the same time... It felt like the right answer. ".... Sora." I nodded to myself. "I'm Sora."

His smile grew even more. "Good. Though... You won't be for much longer."

I stepped back again. "What's that supposed to mean?!"

"Come with me and you'll see."

This man is insane.

"Do not worry... If you come quietly, it'll make the initiation process sooo much easier. Besides... I've been waiting for you to wake up so I could pick at your brain a little. Your sudden appearance was something no one expected, though it's a blessing all the same."

This guy is crazy.

"Why should I trust you?"

"You shouldn't," said a nearby voice. I turned my head to see a large man with pink hair, wearing the same coat as the other guy. "Vexen is a _total_ psycho~ You should run away while you still can."

"Marluxia!"

Deciding I was probably better off listening to "Marluxia," I ran, making it to an exit before anyone could stop me. Even if he was lying, I had to go see Kairi. I had to see if Riku was okay. I didn't have time for whatever Vexen wanted to do with my brain.

The more I ran, the more lost I felt. There were confusing hallways, weird lift mechanisms, moving bookshelves... I felt like I'd already been here, but every time I tried to remember how to get back to where I was, my head started to hurt even more and more. At some point, I was trying to focus all my energy into walking because of all the pain I was in.

Then I saw it.

A small black creature with big yellow eyes. It looked familiar but I didn't know why. Whatever it was, it seemed just as lost as I was. Before I could do anything, it turned it's head to lock eyes with me. I felt... Something. In my chest. It ached. It... yearned? For this small creature of all things.

I walked towards it. It stood up a little from its hunched over position. It just watched me and, without thinking twice, I picked it up. It immediately got comfortable, laying its head on my chest. It closed its eyes.

"You're asleep?" For some reason, I couldn't help but smile at this. "Of course you did..." I looked around. "There's gotta be a way out of here..."

 _'Behind you!'_ a voice echoed in my head.

Before I could do anything, I felt something hard hit my head. If it wasn't hurting before, it definitely was now. I fell forward onto the ground, my vision getting blurry.

"Why do _I_ always get stuck with the icky jobs..." said a tired voice as I felt my body being picked up. I held onto the small creature with a tight grip. As I was pulled up, I found myself making eye contact with a pair of green eyes accompanied with flaming red, spiky hair. "Hey... What's with the random heartless you picked up?"

"......"

"Jeez, don't talk my ear off." He laughed as if this was a hilarious joke. It was, in fact, a bad joke. Though I'm probably biased because he just hit me really hard and it's kinda difficult to focus when you can only kinda see. "Look, if you bring that with you, it's probably gonna cause problems at the castle. Let it go."

"....." I shook my head, my eyes closing as I just focused on trying not to pass out. Though I was suddenly... So tired.

".... Fine. Xemnas will deal with it. Or better yet, Saix!" He threw me over his shoulder casually and I did my best to keep my new friend from being squished. I felt a long, thin hand on my head. "Now _sleep."_

What was this feeling? I felt even more tired than before. Exhausted, even. Like all I wanted to do was sleep. My vision started to get dark. I thought of what Vexen said. I thought abput Kairi and how worried she must be. I thought about how I might never see my friends again and I wasn't even gonna be able to say I was sorry for killing my own friend. "... R-riku..."

"Nope!" he called out, walking off with me in tow. "The name's Axel! Try to get that memorized, will ya?"

"Ax...el..."

"Good job! Now really, what's with the heartless? Why latch onto it, kid? You know they're deadly, right?"

"Mm..." As I felt my head and limbs get heavier, all I could think to say was, "Sora..."

"Sora, huh? Who's that?" When I couldn't answer, he shrugged it off and, before I knew it, I was asleep.


	2. Roxas

When I eventually woke up, I was in a nearly empty, pure white bedroom. And that's not an exaggeration. Everything in there is white. The bed was white. The pillows were white. The nightstand was white. The journal _on_ the nightstand was white. White closet doors, white dresser... Oh, and a HUGE window near the foot of my bed where all I could see is a night sky filled with stars with satin-y white curtains framing it.

If this is how everyone in a black coat lives, no wonder why Vexen is such a weirdo.

I sat up, noticing my little friend from before lying next to me. It was all curled up, sleeping away peacefully. It was... Kinda cute. I couldn't help but smile.

Before I could look at anything else, the door to my room slid open. A man with blue hair a bug X-shaped scar on his forehead walked in. He looked at me.

"So, you're finally awake," he said. "We were starting to wonder if Axel overdid it."

"Who are you?" I asked.

"I am Saix," he answered. "Second in command here in the Organization."

I blinked. "Organization?"

He nodded. "We are a group of Nobodies dedicated to regaining our hearts."

"Nobodies..."

He nodded again. "The empty husk left over when a person loses their heart."

"My... heart is missing?"

He nodded. "Vexen said he explained this much already."

"..... Vexen said a lot of things."

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "One of them, I see..."

"One of _who?"_ It already felt like he was insulting me.

"Nothing..." He lowered his hand. "Do you not have any memories of your previous life yet? You don't recall dying?"

"Uh..." Dying? I was _dead_ now?

"Well?"

I shrugged. "I was fighting someone.... But I'm pretty sure I won that fight."

He nodded again. "Afterwards, you released your own heart from your body."

"Why'd I do that?!"

"I do not know, nor do I care."

"That's not very nice."

"So _terribly_ sorry," he said, rolling his eyes at me. "Were I capable of caring... This probably still wouldn't matter to me."

"Why are you here then?"

"It is my job to take you to see Xemnas so that you may receive a name and title."

"A title for what??"

"You can find out much sooner if you stop wasting my time with all these stupid questions."

"You're kinda mean..."

"So I've been told."

"Can I maybe be escorted by someone else?"

His eye twitched. "And who would you prefer, exactly? Vexen?"

I shook my head. "He creeps me out."

"Well I don't have the time or the patience to show you every single member so that you can decide on who you like more than me so hurry up and make a decision."

"...." I tried to think of the others that I met. Marluxia seemed like he wasn't much better than Vexen... And the... other guy... Axe? Was that his name? I feel like I've heard it more than once and yet I can't even remember it... Didn't Saix say it? Axe... Axe. All I could think of was Axe. Great.

"What is taking you so long?"

"What about the guy with red hair? Uh... Axe?"

His lips turned up into a small smile. He kinda looked like he was trying not to laugh at me.

"Oh, yes... _Axe._ Of course. One moment." He left the room. Some time passed and I was starting to wonder if anyone was even gonna show up.

Eventually though, a tall lanky guy walked in. Green eyes. Red hair. Annoyed expression. Hand on his hip. It felt kinda familiar...

"Come on, kid! Axe? Really?!"

"You hit me on the head!" I argued. "'Get it memorized,' you say but I probably have a concussion!"

This made him smile. "Well the name is _Axel._ Try to commit that to memory." He lightly tapped his temple and leaned forward a bit. "Alright?"

"Axel..." I nodded. "Got it."

"So are ya ready or do you need a minute? I don't know how long you'll be in Twilight Town for but when I joined, I was sitting around listening to Xemnas ramble for a looong time."

I looked around. There wasn't anything to take with me other than the journal and it didn't really feel like I'd need it. The little creature on my bed would probably be confused if I left it alone, though... I carefully picked it up and held it close to my chest. It felt... Warm?

I turned to Axel and nodded, standing up. "I'm ready."

"...." He nodded, a big black ball of darkness appearing behind him. "Let's go, then." He walked into it like it was nothing.

I hesitated for a second before following him in, finding myself in some strange place filled with lots of colors and wandering white figures with zippers for mouths.

"What are those?"

Axel smiled. "Nobodies come in lots of different shapes and sizes. Most of them aren't lucky enough to look as good as I do. They're called 'lesser Nobodies.' Usually found running errands for everyone back at the castle. Now come on. Xemnas isn't exactly known for his patience."

Without any furthur discussion, we walked around for a little while before another... portal(?) appeared. We walked through it, finding ourselves in a big forest with a bunch of trees.

"This way," Axel called out, walking towards an area where the trees started to thin out more. In front of the gate was a large man with silver hair and golden eyes. He seemed... Familiar. "There he is!" Axel called out. "Big Boss Man Xemnas!"

When we were close enough for me to get a better look at him, I froze. I definitely knew this guy from somewhere. But where? Man... If I could go one day without a headache, that would be nice...

"Well?" Axel said. "Don't be shy!" He nudged me forward. I took a few steps closer. "Say hi!"

Before I could say anything, my little friend was glaring up at him, little yellow slits for eyes. He jumped out of my arms and lunged at him, slashing at him with his little claws.

Xemnas smiled. "Cute."

Before I had time to process it, little friend was on the ground, curled up in pain. Xemnas had some weird glowing rod in his hand.

"H-hey, wait!" I moved in between them, arms stretched out. "Don't hurt him!"

His smile grew. "Him?"

I blinked. "Uh.. y-yeah." That felt right, I think. "Him."

"Does he have a name?"

"Um..." I looked back at him before picking him back up. "It's a... work in progress."

"He's a heartless. A mindless creature that can only attack you and ravage what's left of you. You should leave him behind."

"He's different..."

"Is he?"

I nodded.

"He attacked me."

"I won't let it happen again."

"You intend to keep him despite all of this?"

I nodded.

"..... So be it. If he does that again, I will not hesitate to destroy it."

"..... understood."

He stared at little friend for a moment longer and I decided I'd ask him the one question I could think of.

"Have... we met before?"

He chuckled. "I don't know. Have we?"

"...."

I tried to remember what I could. Images flashed in my head. I was standing outside with two people... Aqua and...

"Terra?"

He seemed shocked for a moment. His expression turned to a more neutral one as he shook his head. "Not quite."

If it wasn't Terra, then... I looked down, trying to remember more. Aqua and Terra... Fighting against... orbs? And behind them was...

"Master Xehanort!" I looked back up at him.

He smiled at this. "I see... So you remember _that."_ He nodded. "I was once called that, yes." He placed a hand on my shoulder. "It is good to see you again."

"How... How'd you get so young?"

He laughed yet again, pulling his hand away. "Not all Nobodies look exactly as they did before... The same applies to you."

I guess that... Made sense... As much sense as it could, anyways.

"So," he continued. "How much of your previous life do you remember?"

I frowned. "Not a lot.. I remember Riku and Kairi... and Terra and Aqua... and..." I looked down again. "You... and.... that's kinda it. Everything else is kinda jumbled up right now."

"No worries... I am sure they will return to you in due time."

"Right..."

"Now that you are here... I must tell you about your new life and purpose as a Nobody."

"New... Purpose?" I looked at him again.

He nodded. "Yes. As Nobodies, we do not have a right to exist."

"That's horrible!"

"Indeed... Which is why I am working on changing that."

"How?"

"I am glad you asked. You see.... After I lost my heart to darkness, I craved nothing more than to be whole again. To feel and to have a true purpose... So I created a group by the name of Organization XIII. A group of Nobodies working together to open up Kingdom Hearts so that we may gain new hearts and become whole again."

"Kingdom Hearts..." Red flags were going off in my head but I wasn't sure why. "But why?"

"You seem troubled by this."

"I dunno why, but... Opening up Kindgom Hearts sounds... bad."

He nodded. "It goes against teachings given to keyblade weilders over the years... But I have found that this is because of people who fear what truly lies within it."

"So... It's... Good?"

"It is. In fact, it is the only way for us Nobodies to feel whole again. Which is why we need you."

"Me? Specifically?"

Another nod. "You may recall your ability to wield a keyblade.. Can you call it forth?"

".... I guess I can try..." Shifting little buddy so that I could hold him with my left hand, I held my other hand out, focusing on summoning the keyblade. A few seconds passed before it suddenly appeared. I gripped it a little, smiling at the sight of it.

"Wonderful. As things are right now, you are the only one who was able to hold onto the ability to use it."

"... Really?" I let it fade out of my hand.

He nodded. "The only way into Kingdom Hearts is with the power of the keyblade. Which means that we need your strength, combined with ours, if we are ever going to become whole again."

"Woah..." Honestly, it sounded... Kind cool. Though it also kinda sounded like it was day one and I already had a lot of work cut out for me.

"Now that this has been established... Are you ready to accept your new name and purpose?"

"....." I nodded. "Yes."

Right before my eyes, some big white letters appeared. They spelled... um... Aros? No, wait. Sora. But it was backwards. The letters were facing him. Then they started moving around my head, eventually coming to a stop. A large X was added. It spelled...

"Roxas..." I muttered.

"That is right. Number XIII, Roxas. The keyblade's chosen one." His smile was wide and... Proud, almost. "Welcome aboard."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter actually took me a really long time to write. Looking through my notebook, I wrote it about 3 times before I was finally satisfied with the beginning and I also had to cut out about half of what was left because, not only was it gonna be far too long by that point, it wasn't even finished and I had no idea where else to go or how to end it. Though that scrapped half will probably be revised and used for chapter 3 because I was having a lot of fun writing it, specifically being able to write Demyx because he's just a fun guy.
> 
> Roxas retaining Sora and Ven's memories might seem odd but he is kinda an amalgamation of the two and Sora no longer has a physical form, meaning member number 1 of the Heart Hotel has to exist somewhere for the time being. Why not inside Roxas? Though that would mean he has a fraction of a heart sitting inside of him already.
> 
> Why am I explaining this now? Because I'm clearly a master of planning and I have no idea if this will actually be addressed or not in this fic.
> 
> Anyways thank you guys for reading and supporting this story so far! Feel free to leave any thoughts and ideas in the comments. You can ask me questions about the potential future of this story or even just let me know what scenes you're looking forward to seeing a rewrite of. What characters are you looking forward to Roxas interacting with?
> 
> Until next time!


	3. Nobodies

We went back to the castle once I got my name. According to Axel, our “Boss” had business to take care of and we were to head back without him. Once we got there, we were in a big, empty room. There were couches, blankets, a couple of TVs and game consoles… There was even a small kitchen and some tables with chairs. There were two big openings that led into hallways on either side of the room.

 

“So?” Axel asked.

 

“So… what?”

 

“SOOO,” Axel said with a grin. “This is where we live.”

 

“This…?” I looked around again. There was so much color and… life in here. Rugs with little patterns, painted walls, actual carpet.

 

“Somethin’ wrong?”

 

“No, just… It’s…”

 

“Different?”

 

I nodded.

 

“Well, yeah…” Axel shrugged. “Our rooms aren’t decorated when we get here since they don’t really know what we like… Sure, we can add a little _flare to_ them.” He picked up a hand and lightly moved his fingers, a little flame forming above them before vanishing. “But you know… That means having to use your own hard earned cash for souvenirs to fill an entire blank room. But this place? This place has seen a _lot_ of improvements over the years.”

 

“But why?”

 

Axel shrugged. “It’s easier to pitch in for better lighting and stuff when you have Lesser Nobodies helpin’ you out and one project to focus on.”

 

“Huh…” Made sense. “So this is…”

 

“It’s uh… Sorta like a common room!” He put a finger up. “Yeah!” He nodded. “This is the place where everyone goes to kinda wind down and relax… It connects to all of our rooms so it’s easy to get to. Nice place to relax when you’re tired.”

 

I frowned. “But if it’s the same room for everyone, doesn’t it ever get crowded?”

 

“Nah…” Axel shook his head. “We all have pretty different schedules… Never have a day off… And when we do have free time, we have a whole other sorta common room where we wait for others to come back for poker games or maybe we wait for mission details from Saix.” He looked over at me, hand on his hip. “This is pretty much the most private area of the castle, aside from your room. And it has heating and lots of distractions. Come here when you need to.”

 

“Okay…” It was all I could say. It was all I could _think_ to say.

 

This was all a lot to take in. I’m technically dead at this point. My friend might also be dead. And who’s to say my other friend isn’t dead, too? I am alone. I don’t remember being Sora. I have to find out a way to be Sora again, I think? Maybe? And I have one of the most important roles in this group. I am 14 years old, I think. Axel acts like he’s been here for _at least_ five years, like he’s just used to things. And why are they called Lesser Nobodies? I know they aren’t like us, but they’re still kinda the same, aren’t they? What even made--

 

“Roxas!”

 

“Huh?” I looked up.

 

“You okay? Your little pet there was starting to freak out, you know…” Axel said, reached out towards the little heartless, the little guy’s eyes narrowing just a little bit. “I won’t hurt ya,” Axel said, his hand stopping for a moment. “Just wanna say hi.”

 

The heartless lowered his head a little, eyes opening up a bit more. Axel smiled and lightly rubbed his head, the small creature nuzzling up to him almost immediately.

 

“Fear not, little Shadow. I don’t have a grudge against you yet.” Axel pulled his hand back before turning to face me a little more. “We’ll head back here later so I can show you where your room is from here. For now, we should probably get a little tour of the castle.”

 

“Tour…?” I tilted my head to the side.

 

Axel nodded. “Yep! Usually when Xemnas brings in a new Nobody, he holds a huuuuge meeting in a big circular room with giant chairs and it’s really cool!”

 

“Really?!”

 

“Yeah! Buuuut… Xemnas doesn’t seem to know how long this trip is gonna last for. So instead of doing everything in order, we need you to be a little caught up by the time he gets here.”

 

“Oh…”

 

“A tall order, I know.” He sighed. “Believe me. But… It’s my job to help out, so I guess I gotta do it.” He shrugged. “Still… Can’t believe Saix actually pushed his work onto me.” He groaned.

 

“What?”

 

“This was gonna be his job… But he uh… Was really mad that you picked the guy who hit you really hard in the head over the guy who said he wanted to help.”

 

“... He said that?”

 

“I dunno.” Axel shook his head again, waving his arm a little. “Anyways… Don’t take it the wrong way, kiddo. But this castle is HUGE. Aaaand, I have to introduce you to _all_ of the members since we can’t hold a meeting without Xemnas. And I have to do it with a super unclear deadline.”

 

“Oh…”

 

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “It’s gonna be a lot... Not even any RT time to work with…”

 

“RT time…”

 

“C’mon, let’s just get this outta the way.” He walked to the other side of the room. “Hope you’re not hungry kid because this is gonna be a long, sunless day.”

 

And now the world doesn’t have a sun. Neat!

 

\---

 

Axel was walking around with me, showing me little parts of the castle here and there. So far I’d seen a kitchen, bathrooms, one laundry room, and a big area with a large glass window. There were some couches and small white tables in front of them.

 

“This,” Axel said, turning around to face me. “Is the other place I told you about. This is where you can usually find other people. Saix is usually here to give people details on missions, but… He’s doing work in another world today since he doesn’t have to walk you around everywhere. Everyone goes here in between missions.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Still keepin’ up?”

 

I nodded.

 

“Good! Make sure to memorize everything you can, okay?” He put a finger to his temple. “Xemnas might not be happy to find out our keyboy isn’t very bright so you’ve gotta move kinda fast!”

 

“Axel, how much sleep do you get?”

 

“I don’t know, but who cares?”

 

“Do you need hel-”

 

“LARXENE, PERFECT TIMING!”

 

Before I could say anything else, one of those dark corridor things opened up and a blonde girl walked out of it. She looked over at us with a look that could only be described as a “I will not hesitate” look.

 

“What?” She said, glaring daggers at Axel. “Can’t you see I just got back from a mission?” She kicked her leg a little. “My boots got _drenched_ in that stupid swampy area _again_ and I just wanna take a shower.”

 

“And you can!” Axel added. “I just… Have to take the new kid around to meet everybody so if we can just…”

 

Larxene rolled her eyes with a heavy sigh. “Fine.” She cleared her throat and straightened her back out, her hand waving around. “I’m Larxene, Number Twelve in the organization and _by far_ the cutest addition.”

 

“That’s her way of saying she’s the only girl.”

 

“Oh, shut _up._ Anyways, I mostly use lightning magic and knives. Don’t get in my way and we’ll get along just fine.”

 

“You’re kinda mean, huh?” I said it before I could think to take it back.

 

“Excuse you?” She turned her glare to me. “What’s up with that little shadow heartless? No one could get it to leave you when Axel brought you in.”

 

“Shadow…”

 

“Yeah, shadow. Keep up, genius. That’s the type of heartless it is. They all have names just like the Lessers and just like us.”

 

“Name…”

 

“Uggh! Why’d you guys have to pick an idiot?” She turned away. “I’m wasting my time here, I’m gonna go soak up now.”

 

I decided against saying anything else, deciding she was not someone I wanted to pick a fight with. When she was gone, Axel let out a big breath.

 

“You confronted her AND you lived! Congrats, let’s keep goin’!”

 

Axel’s a bit… Weird. I don’t dislike him, though. He took me to the library next, hoping we’d run into someone. We did. Two people were sitting around a table, surrounded by shelves and reading away. One of them had blue hair that kinda covered his eyes a little. The other…

 

“Vexen, Zexion! How are ya? Long time no see!”

 

When Vexen turned his attention to us, he looked right at me instead of Axel. I felt a small chill run down my spine.

 

“Oh, it’s you two,” he said, smiling and pressing his chin into the palm of his hand. “This should be interesting.”

 

The one apparently named Zexion picked his head up when hearing that, turning slightly to look at us. “Hmm…” he leaned back a little. “How long have we been in here now?”

 

Vexen pulled out a little watch. “The timer says almost an hour.”

 

“That’s it?”

 

“It’ll be alright.” Vexen put the watch away into his coat pocket before looking up at Axel. “We have time.”

 

Axel nodded. “Right. Well, uh… Xemnas is busy right now. It kinda sounds like he doesn’t know when he’ll get back…”

 

Vexen nodded. “I see…”

 

Zexion turned his body around to get a better look at us. “So you’re putting in overtime for this kid?”

 

I frowned. “It’s not his fault.”

 

Zexion shook his head. “He most likely still chose to do it. Saix can’t actually get away with giving his job away to someone else without them agreeing to it. Xemnas would find out. Especially with someone who complains as much as Axel does."

 

“Oh.”

 

Axel sighed. “Don’t read into it too much, alright? The kid asked for me and Saix was throwin’ a damn fit. I can at least do this much. Besides, me being here means that Saix has to do my job, so it’s fine.”

 

Zexion nodded. “If you say so…”

 

“Anyways, can we get this over with? We’ve got a lot of ground to cover today.”

 

Vexen nodded, looking back at me again. “Roxas, right?”

 

I nodded quickly. “Y-yes, sir!”

 

“Oh, relax, will you?" He frowned. “I merely want to analyze answers to questions so I can get a better look at things. That doesn’t mean I plan on harming you. Xemnas would have me turned into a Dusk if I did that.”

 

"What?"

 

Axel cleared his throat before Vexen could answer me.

 

“ _Anyways_ ,” Vexen continued. “I am not here to fight. I am Vexen. Number Four here in the Organization. I do a lot of scientific… studies along with my apprentice here.”

 

“Zexion, Number Six,” said the other guy. “We study things and share notes from time to time. We’re learning everything we can about Nobodies.”

 

“Really?”

 

Vexen nodded. “We are the ones giving data to Xemnas on how Nobodies work and how to restore them. We do studies on the Lessers and we have a few other test subjects lined up as well.”

 

Something about that sounded unsettling.

 

“In addition to that,” Zexion added, “We also take on missions, usually for reconnaissance and the occasional clearing up of paths. We also leave behind little barricades to keep other members on track.”

 

“Okay…”

 

“My specialty is illusion based magic with my lexicon,” he picked up a little black book before allowing it to just vanish from sight. “Vexen uses ice magic paired with a shield.”

 

“Right,” I muttered.

 

“How about you?” asked Vexen.

 

“Me?”

 

“We’ve already met before, but I want to know a little about you.”

 

“Uh.. I-i um… I’m Roxas. Number… Thirteen.” I nodded to myself. “And uh… I use… A keyblade. And I think I can use magic, too. I am here to… To help Xemnas open up a path to Kingdom Hearts.”

 

Vexen smirked. “Are you now?”

 

“Yes.” It’s what I was told anyways.

 

“Alright… How about your past, Roxas?”

 

“My… What?”

 

“You said something _very_ interesting to me shortly after you woke up if you don’t recall.”

 

“Uh…”

 

“You called yourself the wrong name when I asked about who you were. Now, from what I’ve gathered, you're not the person you named and yet… You’re different from the boy who created you.”

 

I took a step back. “S-so?”

 

“Oh, how charming!”

 

“What?”

 

“The little Shadow! It’s worried about you!”

 

I looked down at the little guy in my arms. He had his head raised, eyes focused on Vexen as his little antennae seemed to twitch. The pain in my head from before was back and I took in a sharp inhale of breath, suddenly tired.

 

“Where did it come from, I wonder? Why does it seem to know how you're feeling?”

 

"H-he isn't an-"

 

"He? How did you figure that out?"

 

“I… I don’t-”

 

“Don’t back yourself into a wall now, I only want to talk.”

 

“That’s enough!” Axel suddenly called out. I looked over to see him glaring at Vexen with a look of frustration.

 

“Axel…” I muttered.

 

He turned to look back at me, his expression quickly changing. He let out a small sigh. “Look, this is normal. Everyone in this castle is a bit… Rough around the edges. They’re all testing you right now since they have the time to. Don’t worry about it and let’s just go.”

 

“Okay…”

 

We went to a few other places. Axel explained how to navigate since there were TONS of stairs and hallways and was even teaching me how to make my own corridors. I didn’t _quite_ get it down, but I was able to make a few. The locations were a bit off, but Axel said they were good for my first few attempts and that it was enough to travel to other worlds, but that I should work on it so I could avoid being spotted by “the locals.” The Shadow had fallen asleep at this point. I can’t really blame him since he was just being carried around everywhere.

 

“Next, I’ll show you the training rooms!”

 

“Training rooms?”

 

“Uh-huh!” He nodded, leading me down some stairs. “It’s not far from here at all. We usually just take advantage of the corridors, but it’s good to give you a better idea of where it is in the castle, just in case.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“You can come here any time you wanna brush up on your skills!”

 

“Skills?”

 

“You’re a keyboy, right?” He looked back at me for a second. “I take it you’ve fought against heartless before?”

 

“Uh…” I thought about it for a moment. I definitely remember fighting against _something._ “The… little dark figures with hearts on them, right?”

 

“Very good! You’re right! Creatures like that little shadow are also heartless. You don’t have to focus so much on fighting them, though since they don’t release any hearts.”

 

“Hearts…”

 

“We’ll get into that later. But while we’re at it, you remember anything else?”

 

“Like what?”

 

Axel shrugged. “Anything, really. The world you came from, why you were fighting, things like that. Unless it’s too personal. I’m just kinda makin’ conversation at this point.”

 

I looked down at the floor and tried to think about that. Where _did_ I come from? What was I fighting for? On one hand, I remembered fighting to find Riku and Kairi again. Being on an island with them, even. But when I think about Aqua and Terra, we’re nowhere near any bodies of water.

 

“I think…” I said, stopping for a moment. “I think I grew up on an island.”

 

“Ooooh, fancy!”

 

“And… Maybe I went to a new place to learn how to use a keyblade with Xeh- Xemnas.”

 

“ _Maybe_?”

 

“I think…”

 

“You _think.”_

 

“Gimme a break… I’m still figuring it out.”

 

“D’you at least remember the name of the world you grew up in?”

 

“The… Hmm…”

 

“Still foggy?”

 

I nodded.

 

“That’s okay. You don’t have to push yourself.”

 

“I do remember one world…” We started to walk again. “Sorta…”

 

“Oh?”

 

I nodded. “There were… Flowers? And… Uh… water…”

 

“Roxas, that can be any world that isn’t a desert.”

 

“Hey, I’m trying!”

 

“... You don’t have to get mad, y’know. I’m just teasing you.”

 

“S-sorry…”

 

“It’s fine. What else do you remember about this world?”

 

“It uh…” I tried to remember it. I could almost make out a familiar face with green eyes… But who was it? Holding a… Frisbee? Or something? A little town with a big castle… It had a name, but what was it? 

 

“... garden…” I muttered.

 

I hadn’t realized Axel stopped until I felt myself bumping into him a bit. I looked up at him, but his back was to me.

 

“Axel?”

 

“There was… A garden?” he asked slowly. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking at the time. His voice held a sort of tone that I couldn't fully understand. Something familiar that I can't remember fully. A feeling but of what? I realized Axel was still waiting for an answer.

 

I cleared my throat. “Maybe? It was named that, I think.”

 

“......”

 

“Axel?”

 

He shook his head with a sigh. I think he ran a hand down his face. “It’s nothin’. C’mon. We made it, just gotta go through these doors.”

 

We made our way into this area where there was a big square space in the middle of the room, almost completely separated from the exits, save for little walkways leading to the doors. I took a step closer to it and, upon further inspection, I found that the gap in between had no visible floor. I feel like if I threw a piece of munny down there, it would take a while to hear it hit anything, _if_ there was anything for it to hit at all.

 

“Don’t get too close, now,” warned Axel. “Don’t want’cha fallin’ or anything.”

 

“Right…” I took a step back, looking back up just in time to see the door on the other side of the room open up. Two larger men walked through.

 

One of them had red hair and blue eyes. He looked a little… Intimidating to say the least. He was carrying around a large weapon, almost shaped like an axe or… something. Yeah. It was something.

 

The other one wasn’t as muscular, but he still had a large build. His hair was really long, pulled up into a ponytail and black. He had a bit of a beard on the sides of his face but it didn’t really meet up in the middle. He was holding a spear-like weapon. He was the first to say anything.

 

“This room taken?”

 

“Not at all!” Axel called out. “In fact, your timing is amazing!”

 

“Is it?”

 

Axel nodded. “Roxas here hasn’t met everyone yet so we’re workin’ on that right now.”

 

The red haired one just watched me. He was quiet for a moment before he said, “Lexaeus. Number Five. I use an axe sword and earth magic.”

 

The other guy stepped forward onto the walkway. “Xaldin. Number Three. Wind and lances, And you?”

 

“Roxas,” I answered. “Number Thirteen. Um.. Light and a keyblade?”

 

Xaldin nodded. “Well, that was fun, but…”

 

Lexaeus continued for him. “We have to train today.”

 

“What’s training like?” I asked.

 

Xaldin just stared at me for a moment before suddenly grinning. It was… Unsettling to say the least. Way more threatening than Vexen. “Wanna see?” He asked.

 

Against my better judgement, I nodded and said yes.

 

“Sit back and enjoy the view, then.”

 

Shortly after, the white figures known as Lessers appeared. Some were the same as the ones I saw earlier that day. Others had larger builds and even weapons. Lexaeus and Xaldin got into position, standing back to back. The Lessers started to approach them. More of Xaldin’s lances appeared around them in an upright position, circling around them before moving to slice through five or six at once like they were nothing, leaving behind nothing but dark, swirly wisps of air. And even that evaporated as if it was never there in the first place.

 

Oh.

 

It didn’t stop there, either. More appeared in their place. Lexaeus started to move next, attacking one and cutting right through it. He blocked an oncoming attack. Xaldin jumped up from behind and before I could even blink, the Nobody attacking was impaled almost immediately.

 

I suddenly felt sick.

 

They were called Lessers because that’s how everyone saw them. They were… replaceable. _Disposable._ Their lives didn’t matter. They were tools for training and running errands and repairing the castle. Test subjects. Targets. They were beneath them. Beneath _us._

 

And are you actually telling me that even though we were created in the same way… That even though only so many of us even get a chance to have memories and faces, the majority of these lives are so unimportant that when you slice through a whole group of them, nothing happens and they’re replaced at the drop of a hat? What kind of thinking is that?

 

I found myself holding the little Shadow tighter. I felt… Angry. But not. I didn't like what was happening. My fists were clenched but I wasn't ready to punch anything. I felt really bothered by the fact that this was what they were doing with people who just didn't get a chance to have a real face. Why is it like that? My teeth were clenching, my mouth opening and closing after a moment, but I had nothing to say. My body was shaking but it didn't have the drive or the energy to care about the things that bothered me. So I just stood there, unable to do anything else.

 

“Roxas.”

 

“Huh?” I looked up at Axel. His eyebrows were furrowed and he was frowning.

 

“Hey, kid…” He put a hand on my shoulder. “You’re shaking.”

 

“I-i--”

 

“It’s because he’s the type of person to cling to the weakest heartless there is,” I could hear Xaldin call out. “If he can’t handle this, he’s not going to last for very long.”

 

Axel turned, looking about ready to say something, but he was cut off.

 

“Don’t baby him, Axel. That’s not your job.”

 

“...” Axel stayed quiet but I could feel his grip tightening. I could see his teeth clenching. He looked… Pissed. Not just angry, but pissed off and ready to say something.

 

“Don’t try to tell yourself that you care. We know you don’t. That’s not how you are.”

 

“Will you shut it, already?!” he called out. “The kid’s scared!”

 

“Those feelings don’t exist for us.”

 

“Tch… You know what, Roxas?” Axel looked back at me. “I think we got a lot done today. How about you?”

 

He was giving me a way out. I wasn’t going to say no to that. I nodded.

 

“Good. Let’s go.”

 

He took me back to common room area, sighing heavily as we walked through the entrance. He ran a hand through his hair. “You okay?”

 

I nodded. I was not okay. But I couldn’t just say that. In a place where feelings don’t exist, would anyone believe that I was upset? And how upset could I even feel at this point?

 

“You don’t have to lie, you know…” He rubbed that back of his neck. “Look… I know we can’t actually feel anything, but we remember what feelings are. We remember what it was like to be able to feel anything. And even without a heart, you still have some kind of brain in there.” He lightly tapped my temple. “Stress can still happen. Exhaustion can still happen. Being overwhelmed by all of this? That’s normal and everyone in this castle _knows_ that. Don’t let them tell you otherwise, okay?”

 

It didn’t make any sense. None of this made any sense, really. But I nodded anyways. The sooner I could get out of this, the better.

 

“Why don’t you take some time to relax? There are plenty of blankets and snacks if you want any.”

 

“In here…?”

 

Axel nodded, reaching over to put his hands on my shoulders. “Hey, kid. None of what happened today was your fault. I thought I could take on Saix’s job and I messed it up. Now everyone and their grandma is trying to bother ya because they know I’m not gonna fight them all at once.”

 

“O...kay…”

 

He sighed. “Point is, I’m gonna fix it. No one’s gonna come in here except for me and Saix. And if they do, say something and we’ll take care of it. Sound good?”

 

A whole area with games and movies and blankets to myself…

 

“Yeah,” I muttered, letting out a heavy sigh of relief.

 

“Alright! I’ll make ya something to drink. You like sweets?”

 

“Uh… Sure?”

 

“Go find a cozy place to sit, I’ll be right over.”

 

I found a big blanket to wrap myself in and sat on the biggest couch, making sure to set the little Shadow next to me before getting comfortable. The couch itself was across from a TV with some sort of game console hooked up to it. I leaned back with another sigh, waiting until Axel eventually came by with a mug, holding it out for me. I stared at the cup.

 

“Hot chocolate,” Axel said. “It’s nice and warm. I even added the GOOD marshmallows. Go nuts.”

 

“Oh… Thanks.” I took the cup carefully, blowing on the drink a little before taking a sip. “Mmm….”

 

Axel laughed as he walked away. “I gotta go send out a memo. You stay here and try to relax, okay?”

 

“Okay.”

 

\---

 

I hadn’t realized I’d fallen asleep until I felt myself waking up. I looked around and the room was deserted from the looks of it. All the lights were off except for the one in the little kitchen area. The TV was on, showing what seemed to be a...movie? With swords? But… Wait, it’s a video game.

 

But who--

 

“You’re finally awake,” said a voice from literally right next to me. I jumped and turned to see Saix, sitting on the couch and mashing away at the buttons, trying to fight some big monster thing. He looked a lot less grumpy now. His neck had little splotches of color on it and, “Are you going to keep staring at me, Roxas?”

 

I looked away. “O-oh, well… Uh…” I cleared my throat. “Am I supposed to… Say something, or…”

 

“You could.”

 

“About…?”

 

Saix shrugged. “Your room is down the hall, all the way at the end, to your left. If you want to leave, you can. But I’m not going to make you leave either.”

 

“... So do you want me to stay or go…?”

 

“What do _you_ want to do?” The game stopped for a second and he turned to look at me. Upon further inspection, he was wearing a black hoody with some of his hair tied back. “I’m not working right now. I don’t _care.”_

 

“Oh.”

 

He sighed. “Technically speaking, I _am_ working. I am always working. But this is the place where I can sit here for a while and no one will bother me because I hate them all.”

 

“Uh…”

 

“In any case… You have had a long day. You can report to me about any issues that you may have. If you want to be alone, go to your room and sleep a little more.”

 

“Okay…” I sat back down.

 

We sat like that for what must have been hours. Occasionally, Saix would do something cool in his game and I’d ask about it. He’d act annoyed, but he’d talk about what he was doing and how the game worked anyways. There were lots of things that I probably _wanted_ to talk about, but… I didn’t know how to ask about things or where to start. So I just kinda sat through that for a while. Eventually, Saix spoke up.

 

“Axel told me something today… About a world you claimed to have seen.”

 

His tone was different than before. A lot more tense, almost like I was in trouble if I said the wrong thing.

 

“W-world?” I asked.

 

I could feel his eyes on me. I only briefly glanced in his direction to see a quick nod being sent my way.

 

“Something about a garden… What garden is that?”

 

“Oh, uh…” I tried to think. I did say _something_ about a garden, right? That I went to one, or… No, it was the name of a world. My head was hurting but the image was becoming clearer. Purple? Waterfalls? Metal grates, big gates and a castle…

 

“Roxas.”

 

“I-it was uh… The gardens… The…” Something about Terra happened there, I think? And I saw the frisbee guy there! He said to memorize something and then there was his grumpy boyfriend and--

 

“Roxas!”

 

I looked up and there he was. The grumpy boyfriend. Except older and more tired. Baggy eyes and an almost worried expression. Worried? Probably not actually worried, but whatever.

 

“Roxas, you were shaking. What is wrong?”

 

“Who are you again?” I blurted out, causing Saix to stand up and groan.

 

“I’M SAIX.”

 

“No, I mean… Who is the… Who’s the…”

 

“Who is the what?!”

 

“You’re his grumpy boyfriend!! What’s the grumpy boyfriend’s name?”

 

“The… The what?” He blinked.

 

“The other guy!” I stood up, too. “He had frisbees or something and talked about memories and stuff and you were his grumpy boyfriend!! What was your name?”

 

Saix’s face seemed to be turning a little pink as he just stared at me with a look of bewilderment. “W-what…”

 

“Y’know!!” I tapped my temple. “Get it memorized!”

 

“Axel!”

 

“No, not Axel! Other guy!!”

 

“...... Lea?”

 

“YEAH, THAT!! LEA’S GRUMPY BOYFRIEND!”

 

“......” At this point, Saix was impossible to read. I guess I can’t really blame him, though. I kinda yelled a bunch of words at him and asked it in a way that made NO sense at all. Even if we knew each other before, I wasn’t really helping him remember, now was I? Still, he was weirdly quiet now.

 

“He told you to remember us and you dare forget our names?” He finally said with a frown. “Just who are you, really?”

 

“Uh… Sora, I think?”

 

“I’ve never met a Sora.” He narrowed his eyes. “Try again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAND, that's all folks!!
> 
> Terribly sorry to keep you lovelies waiting and to end it like that, but thank you so much for keeping up with this fic! Also, sorry I haven't been able to write much with the little Heartless yet. His time will come soon enough, though!
> 
> Y'all take care and let me know what you think so far! The next chapter will be a little different from the first three so I hope you're looking forward to it!

**Author's Note:**

> Yoooooo. This is a fic that was inititally inspired by Zillychu on Tumblr. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it and I finally decides to write a thing. I dunno how often updates will be because I'm not very great at sticking to a schedule buuuuut... Eh. I hope you guys enjoy it anyways.


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